Ritual in isolation- part 2; Resistance
The next step in creating a new normal that works for you is in recognising and releasing resistance to change.
Let’s be super honest here. This whole covid-19 thing is a big pile of poo! Not literal poo, although the whole toilet roll crazy would suggest otherwise. But honestly, it is rubbish, and it is really hard to be ok about it. Everywhere there are people telling us to stay positive, find the good, enjoy the time together, the peace, the stillness; and all of these things are true, but unless you release the frustration, the fear, the anxiety it is extremely difficult to enjoy the stillness, enjoy the gifts that have been given to us. This is where the resistance comes from.
So, if part 1 was based in the energy of thankfulness, part 2 is based on release. Because today I am going to invite you to vent, have a really good honest moan about everything. Some of that stuff that came up for you in Part 1, some new stuff that you didn’t even know was bothering you, have a really good old moan. I want you to write down all that is bothering you. Nobody except you is ever going to read this stuff, so go for it.
To help you get started, the journaling prompt is:
What is it that is stopping you from feeling happy right now?
If it helps you, this is a snippet of what goes through my head currently.
“I am angry and frustrated that I can’t just be happy with what I have. I am a complete twat that I can’t just be grateful for the beauty of where I live and stop wishing for more, for different, I am ashamed that I do not enjoy this time with my children, I am bored, I do not know what it is I want, I just want to feel joyful. I feel like if I let go of my frustration and anger, my sadness and fear it makes light of this terrible situation. If I allow myself to be happy then maybe all the stuff that was important before didn’t really matter which makes me feel stupid for it mattering before. I am scared that if I am not angry and frustrated by this situation that maybe I don’t matter….and I still totally love, honour and accept myself. I am love, I am joy, I am peace, I am light.”
Ohh, there you go. You see even people who meditate, who are ‘aware’ who practice all the spiritual healing stuff can feel like a hopeless piece of nothing when encouraged to be honest. Please notice the end statement, because this is the crucial part. Whatever crud that we carry, whatever negative thought patterns, whatever heavy frustrations that we are having to live with we fully accept and love our imperfectly perfect selves.
The point of this exercise is to let the internal dialogue of shame, blame, hatred and negativity to come out so you can face it, recognise it and let it go.
There is a wonderful meditation called SOAR meditation, you can find out detailed information on the website www.lonerwolf.com. SOAR stands for Surrender, Observe, Allow and Release.
This practice is just this, you surrender to the negative energy, by writing it down you are giving it permission to be. You observe it, because all thoughts and feelings are valid, if not necessarily helpful or comfortable, you allow it to just be, no judgement, it is what it is, it doesn’t need to be fed, or hidden, just allowed. Within this easy space of allowance, of observation this energy can simply be released.
It is hugely important to fill the space of the released energy, of this negativity with something that will assist you on your path to feel happy, to be joyful, to feel cocooned in a blanket of pure bliss and this is what the ending statements are, the positive affirmations, the new wiring of your brain.
But how do you create these affirmations? How do make them work for you, do you simply pluck them out of the air? No.
You start with acceptance of self, acceptance that you are not perfect but you are still worthy of love; “Even though I feel fear, anger and frustration I totally love and accept myself”
You then own and embody the emotional state that you wish to feel;
But what are you? What are you resisting? What is the fear or anger, or whatever it is you are feeling currently blocking you from? I suggest you look back at what you wrote and flip the negative words. Use an online dictionary if it helps and find opposite words and feel into them.
Inspo moment!! This is a great home-school idea, you can do this deep work with the children, looking up new and interesting words is a great bit of learning, with the potential to get them into new habits and understanding about their own thought processes!
If you feel angry perhaps peace? If you feel deep sadness perhaps joy? If you feel scared perhaps confidence?
Spend some time creating a new state of being, and then own it. I am joy, I am peace, I am confidence. Feel those words, sprinkle those words around you like confetti. Write it down, shout it out, change your vibe, now go do what makes you feel good and stop resisting the good stuff.
Do the work, feel the benefit, it could be worse, I could be demanding you do 100 squats, I am asking you to be honest, write some shit down then get over yourself and start doing something more interesting that is actually going to feed your soul.
So, to recap. Write down in all its ugly uncomfortable honesty what is stopping you right now from feeling happy. Flip the negative feelings into positive and then affirm that you are those feelings. Do not wish for them, do not put pressure on yourself to apply them, simply be them “I am”. If it helps do a SOAR meditation, you can find them on youtube. Give yourself permission to feel, release and step into something that feels better.
If you are struggling with this, or would benefit from either a witness to hear your feelings and/or some guidance on creating a new positive state then please email me firstname.lastname@example.org to book in a private session I can offer support and advise online via skype or zoom
I am taking a pinch of my own medicine now and am off to put on some music and dance like a lunatic
See you on the other side.
With love, light and a shimmer of sparkles xx