Ritual in isolation-part one
Are you a creature of habit? Maybe you didn’t even realise it but most of us get through our days going from one task to the next, habitually.
Busy parents’ mornings are taken up with getting children and themselves ready for school and work. Then the day is broken into the bit where the kids are at school and the bit afterwards. You cram your work into those precious 6 hours. Before then juggling the clubs, the feeding the washing and sleeping needs of the whole family.
This was the normal for a lot of people. I was definitely like that. Running from one thing to the next. Very little time for myself, various diaries and planners to remember where everyone needed to be. And my daily habits kept me going-yet they also limited me.
It is only now that I realise how my busy days, my days of habits were in no way serving myself, or really my family or clients. My busy-ness gave no time to think, gave little time for creativity, for growth. Even the rituals that I did allow time for became a bit like ticking the box of wellbeing;
Nutritious superfood smoothie-tick
Yet none of these things were of any major benefit because I was giving none of them the due care and attention that true sacred ritual deserves.
Now we find ourselves in a new state of being. Everything has shut down that we used to fill our days with, and all those old habits are slowly crumbling away. This can leave us feeling a bit lost, because even if those old rituals, those old habits did not particularly serve us they gave structure to our existence, they gave us small bitesize nuggets of day to be able to cope with. Not too much time to think, to feel, to understand our actual needs.
So, how can we use this time of pause to introduce new rituals that will help us both now, and once things start returning to something that feels like normal, all be it, I hope, a new normal that is more connected, more mindful and gentler.
The first question to consider is do you now have more time? I certainly do, although it may not be time to myself or for myself but by not having school and clubs and massages to do my day has become one complete space as opposed to one that is broken down into pieces. So, I invite you to actually piece together the time you have gained. As example:
I would spend at least 2.5 hours driving my children to various clubs. Around 4.5 hours waiting around whilst children are participating at clubs. Around 2.5 hours taken up on the school run. And at least 30 hours a week spent with clients. So that is nearly 40 hours a week I have suddenly reclaimed-how about you?
I know that these hours may not feel free, may not feel like your own, but maybe you can find a new kind of ritual to be able use these hours? Because these hours are now spent in your own home, with less restrictions than previously! You do not need to sit in a car waiting, or a small waiting area, or the side of a cold football pitch. You do not need to try and entertain your bored toddler somewhere not set up for a bored toddler. There are positives to be found.
New ritual 1-claim back me time to fill with a ritual. For this to work you actually need to set some boundaries around this time. And this needs to be done in your own head. We give up so much of our time and headspace to caring for others that we forget how to take a small piece of our time and headspace for ourselves. So, I invite you to give yourself permission to have some time for yourself, for your own ritual. Write it down.
“I have permission to take some time for myself.”
You may feel a bit silly doing this, but give it a go, it is surprising how powerful this permission can be.
What came up when you wrote this down?
I want you to be super honest now. What was the first thoughts that popped up?
“ha, like that is going to happen”
“and who is going to entertain the kids at that time”
“who is going to tell the family that I have permission to my own headspace”
“I don’t need this time”
“I can’t do this”
Any of these perhaps? I know for myself it is always a sense that my point of being, my anchor comes from looking after others, to a point where my self-value becomes lower than others. This statement immediately feels shallow and selfish to me.
Be super honest. Because it is these blocks, these stones we carry that stop us from thriving.
So to recap-Ritual one is noticing and being thankful for time given back and giving yourself permission to claim a piece of that time for yourself. Utilise the power of journaling to recognise what those blocks are that are stopping you from taking that time, and that is it. That is your first ritual, gratitude, permission, curiosity.
Part two will explain what you do with those blocks to release them and allow your light to shine.
If you have found what had come at this point difficult or triggering then I am available to help you work through these feelings privately. Using the skills of ho-oponopono healing I can support you in removing, releasing and inviting the energy of love, of aloha into your life today.
Email me firstname.lastname@example.org to find out more details about online ho'oponopono sessions.
We have been gifted this time for a reason. Heal yourself and let your light shine its beautiful path for you.